Written on 23rd of august 2017. Edited Today.
I walk Cairo streets with faith I don’t have,
in a body I never owned,
Head’s up, a little frown, defensive bitchy face;
Don’t fuck with me, I’ll fuck back.
My body knows it all;
smell a lie,
drift(against the current, sometimes),
“You scare the shit out of people so they can’t see how scared you are” *cheeesy*
I feel overwhelmed by the slightest
action movement emotion light,
I hate light.
my apathy scares me.
my insecurities scare me.
my writings scare me.
my old writings scare me the most.
my phone’s vibration scares me.
I write everything on a paper,
this is how I make sense of it,
this is how I know it is real,
she’s written there,
the mess\bliss I used to know.
One step then the next,
one more step,
maybe one more?
we got this!
days\months\years have passed
and I’m still here
fuck you and fuck your pride
I don’t give the tiniest fuck about it\you
it’s about me, not your bullshit.
I get what I deserve,
so am I an asshole now?
I’ll have two of that.
I dreamed of a sea;
in which I learned to swim\drown
then I cried two weeks ago
I walk Cairo streets in uncomfortable shoes,
this is how I know you’re not my home,
this is how much you suck,
but I still have shoes
and I guess they are still my shoes,
I care about them more than you.
I hate you, Cairo,
as much as I love beer.
But at least my head’s up?
Is it still even there?
I’ve been walking for too long now,
I got distracted, overwhelmed,
and the sun has swallowed me whole,
Now I’m headless and un-fake-able,
and so help me god.